He Never Loved You
by legend-of-stelena
Summary: It's February 14th and Misa is recounting her life with Light over her final few hours. She realizes that no matter how hard she tried, he never loved her. Rated T for mature themes. Trigger warning for suicide. Mentions of Light/Misa.


**A/N: Death Note spoilers ahead, of course. Trigger warnings for suicide. Please don't read ahead if that triggers you in any way.  
Flashbacks and thoughts are in italics, lyrics are in bold italics.**

* * *

 _ **Prompt 4: Snowflake (Light and Misa)**_

It was Valentine's Day...oh joy. It was a day full of couples canoodling in parks, theaters, street corners and way too much PDA.  
Two years ago, Misa Amane would have been ecstatic over today. She would've been tugging on Light's sleeve, begging him for a date. It never mattered if it was a dinner or a movie or just a night in; she just wanted to spend some quality alone time with him was all. Besides, he was always working at the station and even when he got out, it was mostly to meet up with that godawful Kiyomi Takada. He deserved some fun, didn't he?

 _ **Be careful what you do, 'cause God is watching your every move.**_

 _"How do I look, Light?" Misa asked excitedly. She twirled around to show him her new outfit that she'd bought specifically for their date.  
_ _"Hm? Oh, yeah, great," he answered, only briefly looking up from his computer screen.  
_ _Her face fell briefly before she picked up her smile once more. "Thanks! You better start getting ready too!"  
_ _With a flip of her hair, she headed back to the bedroom. Her happy smile now gone, she looked at her expression in the mirror._

 _What have I done with my life?_

It was a question Misa had asked herself back then and now, she was asking it again. Truly, what had she done with her life? Instead of continuing her extremely promising modeling career, she had quit her job and spent five years living with Light, waiting for the promise of marriage with him.  
And for what?  
She stared at the Misa that looked back at her in the mirror. God, she looked and felt as if she'd aged ten years in the last one and a half. Shadows that hadn't been there two years ago appeared under her eyes, her skin was as pale as the porcelain dolls she used to own and her eyes looked so weary and tired.  
 _She_ was tired.  
Sighing, she left the mirror and went to her bedside drawer where all the magazines that ever held a photo of her sat collecting dust. She grabbed one and looked it over, wincing every now and then whenever she saw how her face used to be.  
She used to be Misa Misa: gorgeous model, up and coming actress and singer. She used to be the apple of every man's eye until she'd given it all up for Kira.  
For _Light Yagami._

 _"Now there's no way I could possibly kill you!" Misa insisted after handing over her Death Note. "And if I become a burden, you can just kill me, okay?"  
_ _Light looked at her as if she were crazy. Hell, she was crazy. All of this for someone she'd just met.  
_ _But he was Kira. He was her savior.  
_ _"But you might have removed several pages from your Death Note," Light responded after a moment's pause. "You could be hiding them somewhere for all I know."  
_ _She arose from the desk chair. "Why are you so suspicious of me?! I already told you, I don't care if all you do is use me! Believe me."  
_ _"How can you say that?"  
_ _She hesitated. He had a point: how could she say that?  
No...she knew why.  
_ _She fell to her knees before him in defeat. "Exactly one year ago, my parents were killed in a robbery. I was home with them at that time. It happened right in front of me. I wanted that man to pay for what he did," she explained, her voice slightly breaking. "But the trial dragged on forever. A claim started surfacing that he was falsely accused. And then it happened: Kira punished him for what he did to my parents. And that's why Kira means everything."  
_ _She was in tears now, but she wasn't finished yet.  
_ _"Kira means everything to me! I...All I wanted was a chance to meet you one day! So I could thank you for what you did!"  
_ _Silence filled the room for some time before Light stood up from his place on the bed. She kept her head bowed and only when he was right in front of her did she lift up her head.  
_ _He embraced her, enveloping her cold form with his warmth.  
_ _Misa was frozen in shock and her mouth remained agape.  
_ _"I understand," he whispered into her hair. "I can't be your boyfriend, but I can act like it. The lengths you went to meet me, to help me; those eyes of yours that you sacrificed half your life to get...will become my weapon."  
_ _Finally mustering up the strength to speak, she said, "Thank you so much. I'll try my hardest to make you love me. I promise."_

And she had. For years, Misa tried with all her might to make Light love her. She did everything he asked, no matter how gruesome the task was. She looked up people's names, lied to everyone she knew, seduced Higuchi to have him confess to being Kira and she murdered thousands of people whenever Light couldn't. She had been imprisoned and tortured; had lost her normal life and privacy. Through all of that, she had also lost her pride.  
Misa couldn't understand: she had done every goddamn thing he asked of her, but _NOTHING_. No matter how hard she tried, she just wasn't good enough for him.  
Whenever he had indulged her, his moves always felt robotic; his supposed claims of love in near monotone. Yet she had drunk in every single one of those moments. She forced herself to believe him when he said that he loved her, her body relished in the warmth of his arms whenever he gave her the rare embrace, and on the very few times that he had kissed her, her heart still fluttered despite the fact that she knew it was all an act.

 _ **Hold my hand in the dark street, for if you do I know that I'll be safe**_

She looked back at the photo of herself in the magazine before her.  
 _Oh darling, he never loved you,_ the voice in her head told her. _He could have. Maybe he truly could have, but guess what? He didn't._  
Tears fell down Misa's face and onto the glossy magazine page. All along, she knew that he never loved her the way she wanted him to; that he probably never would love her that way.  
 _Why were you so afraid of losing him when he wouldn't have even hesitated to kill you?_  
She didn't know.  
When everything started, she was incredibly infatuated with him, no doubt about it. But slowly, as she began seeing him more as a person and less as an idol, her heart betrayed her and began falling in love with him. She had no idea why: he was cruel to her, had used her and her feelings for him to his personal advantage. He never traded half of his life for the Shinigami eyes. Why would he need them if he had her at his beck and call? Besides, it hurt to love him when he was always doing risky things and talking about her behind her back with other girls by telling them that she was stupid and meant nothing to him. For that, she sometimes felt tempted to hurt him the way he did her.  
But she couldn't.  
Perhaps that was why Misa fell in love with him; because she couldn't bring herself to hurt him so instead, she hurt herself. She dealt with the years of verbal abuse and lies. She allowed herself to be used in whatever task Light needed her for. She wore her mask of fake happiness for longer amounts of time and never once allowed anyone to see how she truly felt, not Light, not anyone from the Task Force, not even Rem.  
She always had to be their perfect Misa Misa because there was always someone watching.

 _ **Even if I'm far away and alone, I can be sure that you'll find me there.**_

 _He knew you loved him. Everyone knew. The thing is, he never cared about how you felt. He knew you loved him and he was still willing to toss you aside at a moment's notice. Sure, he indulged you every now and then, but that was just to keep your loyalty. Did you really believe for a single second that he wanted to marry you? That he'd start a family with you and live a normal life with you? Really?_  
She did. Despite it all, there had always been a piece of Misa that thought that eventually, Light would want all those things with her. Someday.  
 _You truly are pathetic then._

 _ **This I know.**_

Still, she was always her happiest whenever she was useful to Light. She was ecstatic whenever she had pretended to be Kira in order to shift the blame from him or whenever her Shinigami eyes proved useful. Her proudest moment had been proving that Higuchi was Kira all on her own with no one else's help or orders. Even her memory losses were shining moments because they were meant to assist Light.  
But still...  
She looked down at the magazine in her hand once more to see her smiling face glowing up at her. Light never fell in love with this Misa. Unlike many other young men of Japan, he had never fallen for the beautiful and talented Misa Misa.  
 _He never loved this version of you, the version you liked best, the version that you were proud of. So you changed for him, but he didn't love that version of you either. He only made you think that he did. Oh, darling, don't you see? He never loved you._

 _ **You draw me close for a while, so quiet.**_

With a deep sigh, Misa put the magazines away and got up from her spot on the floor. She looked at herself in the floor length mirror and at the maid outfit she wore. She'd only ever worn it once before; right after L and Rem's deaths. That had been the time in which she truly realized that she would never know Light's love and that at the very end of the day, he would only have her around to use her.  
 _Yet you still stuck by him, foolishly hoping that things would change. You moved in with him and gave him five more years of your endless loyalty while he walked all over you with empty promises of a normal life and marriage. You still believed him even after everything. Ridiculous._  
She moved away from the mirror and went into the living room that she had once shared with Light. Despite everything that had happened here, Misa could never bring herself to pack everything up and move out. Packing would mean going through old things of hers and...his...and even if she hired people to pack up for her, she couldn't imagine someone else inhabiting this apartment she had the misfortune of calling home. Not after how many deaths were caused here.  
The desk Light used to spend hours sitting in front of still stood in the corner of the room. She went towards it and sat in the desk chair, only noticing now how dusty the computer and books littering the desk were.  
She picked one of the thicker books from the desk and opened it, satisfied to find the pages still hollowed out and the slim piece of paper still there.

 _ **You tell me everything.**_

Misa's mind went back to that dreadful day over a year ago; the day that she had lost the only thing, the only person, she had left in her life.

 _It was January 28th, 2013 and snow had befallen the streets outside of the apartment Misa shared with Light.  
_ _She couldn't wait for him to get home. He had left quite early this morning stating that he had some 'finalizing business' to take care of today but that once it was over, he would take her out for a celebratory dinner. What was to be celebrated, she had no clue, but she definitely didn't argue over the idea of a dinner date.  
_ _Her nails had just become dry when her cell phone rang its familiar tune. She blew on her nails one last time before answering the call.  
_ _"Misa here!" she perkily said.  
_ _"Misa? It's Matsuda. I'm calling because..." Matsuda hesitated. "Something happened to Light and you deserve to know the truth about it."  
_ _She froze and began gripping the phone so tightly her fingertips turned white. "What...what happened...to Light?" Fear ran through her whole body.  
_ _"It would be better for you to meet me here," Matsuda insisted. He proceeded to give her an address and as soon as he was finished speaking, Misa hung up, grabbed her jacket and bolted out the door to her car. She probably broke all the speed limits on her way to the address of what turned out to be a giant warehouse with police cars parked out front.  
_ _She stopped her car and got out, too worried about Light to even lock the doors. She ran inside and was faced with a gathering of police officers and investigators. Before her was the customary yellow police tape that decorated crime scenes.  
_ _Oh God, what happened to Light?  
_ _She ducked under the tape and was immediately stopped by an officer.  
_ _"Miss, I'm sorry, but you're not permitted to be here. I'm going to have to ask you to leave," he reprimanded.  
_ _"I can't leave! I'm Light Yagami's girlfriend! I have a right to be here, so let me through!" she yelled.  
_ _"I'm sorry, Miss, but-"  
_ _"Officer, it's alright. You can let her go," Aizawa explained, appearing from seemingly nowhere. "We called her here."  
_ _The officer only grumbled before releasing Misa, who went running to Aizawa.  
_ _"What happened? Where's Light?!" she demanded. "Please tell me he's okay!"  
_ _The older man only sighed before leading her to an area surrounded by people. Pushing her through the crowd, he brought her towards the stretcher that now held Light's body.  
_ _Misa immediately broke free from the grip that held her and sped to Light, scanning his body and face for any sign of life, anything at all.  
_ _"Light?!" she cried. "Light, wake up! Light, please!" She shook on his shoulders and brushed his hair away from his face but received no response from him.  
_ _Finally, in a desperate attempt, she pressed her lips to his. She didn't care if he only pushed her away and yelled at her for doing such a thing, she just wanted him to say something, do something, do_ anything _-  
_ _"Misa!" Aizawa shouted behind her. "I'm sorry, but he's gone! He's gone."  
_ _Misa pulled away from Light and stared at him wide-eyed. No, he couldn't be gone. He COULDN'T BE...  
_ _"He was shot several times," Aizawa explained softly as he crept closer to her. "It happened at the warehouse we were at today. He made it here before succumbing to his wounds. We found him in the middle of a set of stairs. By then there was nothing we could do. It was too late."  
_ _Heavy tears began covering Misa's vision that she didn't even bother to try and wipe away._

 _Light was gone._

 _He was dead._

 _Like a punch to the gut, all those years she spent by his side were thrown away and now meant nothing._

 _Light was dead._

 _She clutched her jacket around her as she fell to the ground on her knees, tears flowing rapidly down her cheek as she cried.  
_ _Wait.  
_ _Light was shot more than once according to Aizawa. The bullets took him away from her. The question remained: who pulled the trigger? Who took the light away from her world, who left her alone once more? Who was it?! She would tear them to pieces for doing this to her again, she swore she would, it didn't matter who it was—  
_ _"Who shot him?" Misa asked softly. She picked herself up from the ground and faced the growing group of police officers. "Who shot him?" she repeated more powerfully, her grief-stricken voice booming above the crowd.  
_ _The men looked nearly afraid to tell her anything. It was as if their biggest fear was this young woman who just lost the man she loved.  
_ _"Who...did it…?" Her voice was shakier now.  
_ _Someone pushed through the crowd until they stood at the head of the group. With apologetic eyes, Matsuda said loud enough for her to hear him clearly, "I did it."  
_ _Matsuda. Out of all people, it was Matsuda. One of her few friends and one of the few people that didn't believe her to be entirely stupid and useless. It was someone she trusted.  
_ _Any control left within Misa Amane suddenly snapped at that moment and she ran towards Matsuda in pure fury._ _Arms immediately grabbed her and she wrestled to break free from them, not even much for her sake, but for Light.  
_ _"Let me go! Let me go now! I have to make him pay! I have to avenge Light!" she yelled rabidly.  
_ _A command was shouted and she felt something be inserted into her arm before her now dark world faded into literal darkness._

* * *

 _Misa woke up disoriented in a stark white room. Rubbing her eyes she sat up and was taken aback when she found a teenager with white hair that matched the walls sitting in the corner staring at her.  
_ _"Can I help you?" she asked albeit rudely.  
_ _"Hello, Miss Amane. Pleasure to meet you. My name is Near, but please, call me N," the boy said.  
_ _So this was the mysterious N.  
_ _Wonderful.  
_ _"Okay…" she hesitantly replied. "So, N, care to tell me where I am?"  
_ _N began twirling a small lock of his hair. "Miss Amane—"  
_ _"You can just call me Misa, it's fine," she interjected.  
_ _"Very well, Misa, I understand that you are a tad disoriented, so I will explain what occurred. Earlier today at say, nearly 4:00, you were called by Officer Matsuda to a warehouse because something had happened to your boyfriend, Light Yagami. You discovered that he had been shot several times and died presumably because of his wounds. Officer Matsuda revealed that he had been the one to shoot Light Yagami, thus in your grief, you turned violent and attempted to attack him. Therefore, you were shot with some tranquilizer and moved here to ensure Officer Matsuda's safety. Are we all caught up now?" N explained in a dry monotone.  
_ _Halfway through the explanation, Misa's memories began resurfacing through the haziness of the sedation she was apparently given. Along with the memories came the pain, returning in a flash. Just like that, the weight returned to her heart and the tears came back to her eyes.  
_ _"But...why? Matsu would never do such a thing. Why…?" she questioned shakily, worried for his answer.  
_ _N sighed. "I suppose you deserve to know the truth. After all, you were close to Light Yagami. See, the reason he was shot was because he_ had _to be shot. Through the events that transpired during my meeting with Light, it became very clear that he was, in fact,_ _Kira all along."  
_ _Silence filled the room as everything froze around her.  
_ _Light was…_ _Kira?  
_ _So he had been the one to kill her parents' murderer. He had been the one to finally deliver her family justice.  
_ _It hurt, even more, to have him gone. She didn't even get the chance to thank him.  
_ _"He had to be stopped," N continued. "And the only way to stop him was to kill him, or he would've killed us all."  
_ _N droned on for a few moments longer before leaving the room.  
_

 _Misa was eventually released from her temporary confinement after the police were sure that she wouldn't go after Matsuda and cause him harm._ _Light snowflakes were falling the day she was let go and they collected in her hair as she made her way home.  
_ _It was January 30th, her car was parked where it was supposed to be and Light was gone._

 ** _If I forget what you say, then you come to me and tell me again._**

 _It was the early morning of January 31st and she had just gotten out of bed when she felt something brush against her hand.  
_ _At that instant, everything came back to her. She remembered the Death Note and what both she and Light did with it. She remembered killing maybe thousands of people; exchanging half of her lifespan twice for Shinigami eyes in order to be useful to Light; losing her memories before and only getting them back when Light decided she should get them back.  
_ _She had been touched by her Death Note.  
_ _"Boo," a familiar voice said.  
_ _"Ryuk?" Misa looked up and found the Shinigami that had hung around her and Light for that past six years.  
_ _She scoffed. "What are you still doing here? Huh? Light is gone. He's dead! He's gone and he's never coming back!" Her emotions began getting the better of her and the tears she swore not to shed today began releasing themselves. "They killed him!"  
_ _"Oh, they shot him alright. They shot him good," Ryuk responded. "But they didn't kill him. I did."  
_ _She opened her mouth to speak but Ryuk only raised a hand and stopped her before she could get a word out.  
_ _"Calm down, I'll tell you why. But before I do, got any apples?"_

 _In two minutes, Misa was seated at her kitchen table while the Shinigami scarfed down all of her apples._  
 _"See," Ryuk began in between bites. "There's a little rule we Shinigami have about Death Notes that you humans don't know about. When a human gains ownership of a Death Note, they are followed around by a Shinigami until they either relinquish ownership of the notebook or until they die. When the time does come for them to die, that Shinigami has to write the human's name in their Death Note. It's an official agreement between the Shinigami and the human. If Light survived, he would've ended up stuck in jail for the rest of his life and the last thing I want to do is be stuck in prison for the next few decades. It would be_ really _boring. I wasn't gonna do that time, so I wrote his name in my Death Note and ended him myself. See?"_  
 _Ryuk took out his notebook, flipped a few pages and held it up._

 ** _夜神 月_**

 **Light Yagami**

 _There was no denying that it was Light's name imprinted on the page._  
 _"A life sentence in a tiny prison cell doesn't exactly sound fun, wouldn't you agree? Pretty boring, to say the least," he finished._  
 _"You killed Light to avoid_ boredom _?! Are you serious?" Misa exploded._  
 _"Easy now. If anything, I might have done you a small favor. He wasn't exactly the greatest to you now was he?"_  
 _She said nothing. She wasn't in the mood to fight or argue anymore._  
 _"Call it a soft spot, but I thought you at least deserved to get your memories back. I understand if you don't want ownership back. Can't blame you in the slightest, actually. Do you want it back?" he asked._  
 _Misa stared at the notebook Ryuk held._  
 _That Death Note had given her exactly what she wanted and had taken everything from her at the same time. That notebook stole Light away; his life and his mind. That notebook changed the both of them as people and ruined their lives._  
 _"No. I want nothing to do with that freaking notebook ever again," she answered harshly._  
 _"Fair enough," Ryuk replied. "Not even a page for the road, though?"_  
 _She looked at him._

* * *

 ** _Yes, you'd tell me once again._**

Misa gazed at the black lines on the piece of paper sitting in front of her.  
She still wasn't sure why she had taken the Death Note page Ryuk had offered her over a year ago. Perhaps it was for an emergency or out of pure instinct. Either way, today was the day she was finally putting it to use.  
As the previous year had rolled by, Misa had gotten back into modeling. The photo shoots and fan meetups were good distractions that allowed her to forget how miserable she was for a while and the long working hours kept her away from the painful place she called home. Still, even with those events, there were times when Ryuk's words had echoed through her mind.  
 _"I might have done you a small favor. He wasn't exactly the greatest to you now was he?"  
_ If she had figured anything out in the past year, it was that the Shinigami had been right. Not about having done her a favor, but about Light not being the best person towards her. He hadn't been at all.  
 _Even Ryuk could see that. Why did it take you so long?_  
She was delusional and naive. There was no denying that she was. She was had acted as a love-sick idiot for half a decade. She knew that she wasn't perfect by any means and that she hadn't been completely fair with Light either, especially at first, but she was still a person. Didn't she deserve at least a little respect?  
After everything she had been through, didn't she deserve to know what love felt like? Couldn't she have at least that?  
Misa's hand shook as she took the pen laying on the desk and wrote down the death. There was no going back now. The fate was sealed.  
She gazed up at the ticking clock on the wall that read: 4:17 PM. If she left now, she would make it right on time.  
Stuffing the page into her dress pocket, she gave herself a final glance in the mirror and left the apartment, not even bothering to lock the door behind her. There was no point. She didn't grab her car either and opted for walking to her destination.

 _ **But what happens when I know it all?**_

Misa ignored the strange glances she received as she walked down the streets of Japan. Whenever she passed a happy couple celebrating Valentine's Day, she quickened her pace.  
 _Oh darling, he never loved you._  
The painful reminder refused to escape her head. Sure, it had mocked her since that conversation with Ryuk, but it seemed to be exceptionally louder today, of all days.

 _"Knock, knock," Light announced, appearing out of seemingly nowhere with a bright bouquet of flowers in hand._  
 _Misa gasped in surprise. "Light! You're back early!" She got up from her spot on the bed and ran to hug her wonderful boyfriend._  
 _"Well, I couldn't exactly leave my girlfriend completely alone on Valentine's Day, now could I?" he laughed, bringing Misa just a bit closer and kissing the top of her head._  
 _She held on tighter. "You're the best, you know that?"_  
 _"I know," he replied with a smirk. He reluctantly parted away and held out the flowers once more. The bouquet itself consisted of yellow and mauve carnations, light yellow fennel and white tulips._  
 _"Aw, for me? Thank you!" She pecked a kiss onto his cheek. "I'm gonna put them in a vase." She lightly brushed past him and headed towards the kitchen._  
 _Her smile grew wider when she spotted a white teddy bear sitting next to the sink carrying a heart-shaped balloon that read:_ Happy Valentine's Day!  
 _"You're too good for me sometimes, you know that, Light?" Misa proclaimed, setting down the bouquet._  
 _She gave a tiny jump when she felt Light's sturdy arms wrap around her waist and pull her in close._  
 _"Only the best for you, Misa," he responded into her hair, prompting her heart to flutter even more._  
 _They had a dinner of sushi that Light had brought over and when it was over, he volunteered to wash the dishes so she could simply relax._  
 _When he was finished, he walked back into the room a tad bit shyly, which was a feeling she had never seen him feel._  
 _"Darling, I love you. I want you to always remember that," he said, running a nervous hand through his hair.  
_ Darling, he loves you _, she thought to herself, processing the words in her mind.  
_ _"I love you too, Light," she replied. "But what's this all about?"  
_ _He took a deep breath and went towards her. Taking her hand in his, he knelt down before her on one knee.  
_ _"Misa Amane, will you-"  
_ _"Yes!" she shouted, barely allowing time for him to finish his question. Light laughed happily as Misa pressed kisses all over his face._ _When she'd finally calmed down, he slid the ring onto her finger.  
_ _She couldn't believe it! She was going to be Mrs. Misa Yagami…  
_ _Oh darling, he…  
_ _He…_

He never even loved her.  
She bit her lip and tried her hardest to stop the flow of her tears. It was a wonderful dream, set in a world where she was just Misa and he was just Light, not Kira. It was a world where they had never killed and they were happy together.  
But that was all it was: a dream; an unrealistic fantasy that never happened and never would have.

Misa stared up at the grand building that stood boldly before her.  
L's old building; it was one of the few places where she had felt truly proud of herself and where she felt the most useful for helping Light. Getting Higuchi from the Yotsuba Company to admit that he was acting as Kira was something that she had never forgotten. Despite Light being a little upset as to how she gained the information, he was pleased with learning that fact.  
Plus, since most of their time here was spent with missing memories, she'd been strangely happy, even with Ryuzaki around. There were even times where she missed him, even as weird as he was, not that she would ever admit it aloud.  
Misa managed to get inside the building easily and sneaked a glance at the clock.

 _5:12...5:13 PM_

On her way to the top of the building, she began counting the seconds in her head. When those seconds reached sixty, she counted the minutes.

 _5:14...5:15...5:16…_

By the time she reached the top, it was 5:17 PM.  
Almost time.  
She walked to the railings and faced the city as the sky turned pink and orange.

 _Light pushed her closer to him.  
_ _"Misa, I love you," he said softly, and she knew he had to mean it._

 _Stop,_ her mind commanded. _Enough with the fantasies. If you're going to remember that, then remember it the way it happened._  
Misa sighed.

 _Light reluctantly brought her a tad closer.  
_ _"Misa, I love you," he said in his usual, unfeeling monotone, and she knew he didn't mean it for a second._

"I tried my best for you, Light," she confessed to thin air. "I really did. But I was never enough. I didn't realize how damaging those five years were for my life until you were gone. I still miss you nearly every day, but I won't deny what you did to me. I can't. I'm not here just for you, but for my parents and for everything that's happened. I've never been at peace with myself and I feel so useless and worthless and...I don't think there's a reason for me to be here anymore. There's no one to live for. There's no _thing_ to live for."

 _5:18 PM_

Gripping the metal railing tightly, Misa climbed her way onto the other side of the safety bearing.

 _5:19 PM_

"After all, Light, you never even loved me."  
She breathed in the light winter air as tiny snowflakes began falling from the sky that was beginning to darken. The snow landed in her hair, seemingly decorating it with sparkles. Misa had always enjoyed snow; after all, she'd been born on Christmas Day. There had been snow in the beginning, so it made sense for there to be snow at the end too.  
The light was rapidly disappearing as the sun set in the sky. Misa faced the city and its inhabitants a final time and grabbed the piece of notebook paper from her pocket, clutching it to her chest.

 _5:20 PM_

"I'm sorry for everything, Mom and Dad. I'm sorry for disappointing you…" Her voice broke off and she began sobbing. "I'm sorry about everything I've done these past seven years. I don't deserve to see you two again. As for you, Light Yagami?"  
She laughed lightly as the time drew nearer.  
"I'll see you in nothingness," Misa proclaimed as the clock hit 5:21 PM and she jumped off the building.  
She felt no fear as she fell through the air. The wind and frost blew through her hair as she tumbled down and disappeared alongside the day's sun.

 _ **Then what should I do after that?**_

After hearing something hard hit the pavement, several civilians rushed outside and discovered the body of Misa Amane, model and former singer and actress known by her stage name, Misa Misa. It is presumed that she commit suicide by leaping off a tall tower on Valentine's Day. By the time paramedics were called, she was gone from the world. Her left hand, shining with a collection of freshly fallen snowflakes, clutched onto a torn piece of paper.  
The paper itself read:

 ** _弥 海砂_**

 ** _Misa Amane_**

 ** _February 14th, 2014_**

 ** _5:21 PM_**

 ** _Suicide._**

 _ **What then?**_

* * *

 **For the record, I do not, in any way support Light and Misa's relationship as it's depicted in the anime AT ALL, but the** **psychological aspect of what happened intrigues me, along with Misa's thoughts in the time between Light's death and her own. The lyrics, of course, are from _Misa no Uta.  
_** **Sorry if the Japanese characters are wrong, as I got them from a quick Google search. And sorry if the story doesn't 100% coincide with the Death Note rules because there are way too many to work through.  
Thank you for reading!**


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